Ate mesmo quando nao ha lagrimas, em alguma parte dentro de mim, eu choro.
quarta-feira, 14 de janeiro de 2009
domingo, 11 de janeiro de 2009
I don't know when I lost it.
Maybe it was when I gave my heart away... Stupid choice.
Maybe it was when I thought it was best to not fight back something superior.
Maybe it was when I fell straight into a different situation.
And know I don't know where to look for it.
It has been sometimes that I've been having self-destructing thoughts.
At first they don't look scary, only appealing.
But suddenly, it becomes terrorizing, and I have no idea why it actually occured to me.
Maybe I'm lost.
I still know all about myself.
I still know what I think, why I want, but just don't know why I still do.
I still feel like self-destructing. Don't really have the guts to do it, but I think about it all the time.
It just doesn't matter that I know what and why, when I always care about the opinion of someone who thinks that what I feel doesn't matter.
I don't know how it can actually work out, but it is holding on.
I don't know what to hold on.
It is not sad. It is not terrible. It's just an alternative others do not approve of.
There's nothing wrong with it.
I don't know how life can sometimes be so fragile and sometimes so tough.
I don't know about mine, but I kinda wish it is fragile so when it ends, it can be quickly.
I'm really just a coward, after all.